Cheese people news W/C 29th September 2008

Monday 29^th September 2008

The investigation intensifies

Sergeant String, is doing his thing,

getting to the truth.

This man in Blue, even found a clue.

on a farmhouse roof.

Going to great lengths, using his strengths,

he’ll uncover what’s really real.

And I’ve just heard, it’s an unofficial word,

they’re testing all of the steel.

The investigation ends

Using sophisticated gauges, to test the cages,

they found that the metal was furred.

They quickly discovered, from the fur uncovered,

that a poisonous reaction had occurred.

A gas would rise, into ears, nose and eyes,

and the chickens would loose control.

A few hours later, it was ‘good bye alligator’

as the chickens took their final stroll.

The Gazette Anniversary is tomorrow

It's been one year, since we appeared here,

reporting the local news.

As situations unfold, your stories I’ve told,

sharing all of your views.

To celebrate this fact, we've decided to act,

and produce our Cheese Diary.

I said diary, not dairy, that word is scary,

careful or they may fire me.

A little story every day, Monday to Friday,

a year of news in the Vale.

Our life, our work, normal and berserk,

it’s a most fascinating tale.

The Gazette anniversary

We've been here, for exactly one year,

and time has really flown.

I love what I do, mainly because of you,

the best people I’ve known.

So see you later alligator, for a party later,

to celebrate this special time.

You cheesy nation, give me such inspiration,

the honour has been all mine. 

A day to remember

Plans are in place, to give grace,

to the bananas who died last year.

A dark day, lives ending this way,

we can't believe they're not here.

In their memory, at half past three,

let's meet at their statue.

Not perfect, but a sign of respect,

the least that we can do.

Fish stocks are low

You need to know, fish stocks are low,

so fishing is now banned.

As from today, you must put nets away,

we hope you understand.

Earlier than planed, because of demand,

there simply aren’t enough fish

Nothing we can do, if it’s on your menu,

you’ll have to find a new dish.