Chocolate hearts have nearly all disappeared,
and the good cards have gone just as I feared.

Restaurant's are fully booked with no tables free,
and Red roses are rationed to a maximum of three.

Good looking Teddy bears have found a new bed,
and the only music left is either Punk or Motorhead.

Shops have run out of good champagne and caviar,
and it's impossible to find a man to play the guitar.

Hairdressers are busy I can't get an appointment,
and I cannot go out like this smelling of ointment.

My clothes are so old that people stop and stare,
and my car keeps breaking down so is in for repair.

I could cook at home but my oven's on the blink,
and my kettle is fused so I can't even make a drink.

Anyway my cat has the flu and might need a vet,
and my TV's so new I don't have a license for it yet.

So if I had a date, I have left it too late,
anyway I don't have, so perhaps it is fate!